The nucleus

I have never been sick for longer than a day or two in my life. Anytime I’ve had a cold or some sort of symptom it usually has one sucky day and then the next day I can feel the symptoms start to dissipate and within a short time, life is ticking at it’s usual pace again.

The past few weeks I got hit in a way that was completely foreign. I got sick and was down for nearly two weeks. Never in my life have I felt the true affects of what lack of sleep does to your immune system. I know it’s true and I certainly feel a difference in my body, brain, metabolism when I don’t get a good night sleep. But getting sick and then having a teething baby makes for a combination of sleeplessness that was unprecedented in our household.

My husband says I’m the worst sick person ever because I feel so bad for feeling bad. And he’s sort of right. But not in the guilty way he thinks I feel. It’s more that I so rarely feel horrible, that when I do I get very introspective. I think and feel and analyze and I cry a lot. It’s like I’m riding myself of all the fluids that are holding me back and feeling this massive sense of gratitude for all the days my body feels great. There is nothing like feeling debilitated to make you feel grateful for the healthiest version of you, especially when this you is the you you like and get to be most of the days.

So in the state it was a giant pause. And in this pause I realized what all the mothers say and all the meme’s about being a mom are really trying to say. It’s that mom’s are the nucleus of a family. Not that they are better than anyone else or that dad’s aren’t amazing in their juggle of home and work and sleepless support too. But mom’s are the centre set of cells that keep things running smoothly. You don’t even feel it until something starts to breakdown with the nucleus. If a nucleus is damaged it can prevent things like cell division and eventually the cell itself can die. I think that mom’s juggle so many things and survive on so little sleep sometimes that we don’t even realize we’re keeping the whole cell-of-a-family compactly together and well and when we nuclei begin to wobble and break apart, the disruption it can cause is shocking to everyone.

Having come out on the other side, feeling more like myself everyday I’m realizing how important it is to nurture Madame Nucleus in order to keep everyone and everything working optimally and happily together. This will be the work and constant reminder of this new year to come.

Nurture your nucleus, period.

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